Please oh men of the world, please keep your trouser snake where it belongs...in your pants. There are of course times when it can be out of your pants. That time is not what I'm talking about.
I might be remembering things wrong or perhaps becoming more observant in a very unfortunate way, but I'm fairly certain I have seen way more dick in the last year then I have ever before. No, I'm not talking about picking you up somewhere, bringing you home and then seeing it. I'm talking about minding my own business and then out of no where, there it is, a random cock hanging out for all to see. This is becoming a disturbingly common event in my life. Take the last week for example, there have been 3.
#1: Oh guy who pissed on my car...oh yes I saw you. And I'm insulted, not only did you piss on my car, but you didn't even have the decency to do it in a way in which I couldn't not see your pecker. I am unimpressed with you in everyway.
#2 Why would you piss in your boat? I understand taking a piss off your boat into the surrounding water, but why in your boat. Was there not enough fish blood and slime in there to make a satisfyingly disgusting aroma for you to smell? Was it entirely necessary to add the wonderful aroma of urea to the mix? I don't even know what to say. You where in the middle of the harbor, there were other people around. I know I'm not the only one who saw.
#3 I understand that booze causes you to do stupid things, but how much do you have to have in order to take a piss off the back balcony of the Arctic Bar...on a Friday night? Sure you got it into the harbor, which is more then I can say for dick #2, but the bathroom is like 20 feet away. Any women you were attempting to pick up is not going to be impressed with your aim. We know you'll make it in the water, thats just how gravity works.
Seriously guys, how hard is it to use the bathroom, or at least find somewhere that I don't have to accidentally see you.
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