My job requires strong communications skills, tact and discretion. I possess none of these. My boss, at times has commented that I have a very odd way of talking. I understand what she means, but its not odd the way she thinks it is.
After having grown up on boats and around a bunch of lecherous old fishermen (who use the word Fuck after ever sentence or in the place of a comma) my use of verbs, adverbs and modifiers is sadly lacking. My idea of descriptive words include such colorful phrases as asshat, twatwaffle and douche monkey. I've also been entirely too influence by lolcatz and its not uncommon for me to say such things as "I can haz" or other such cutesy phrases that have no place outside of a denominational posters.
These cultural influence make normal professional and civilized conversation a bit challenging for me. My boss finds my speech so amusing because I am in fact having two different conversations at the same time. The version that is going on in my head, and the strongly (and hastily) edited version that I am attempting to convey to her. The syncopation of my speech and my very odd use of common words is the result. When asked how everything is going with work I have a hard time translating my thoughts: "It was fucking hillbilly pride day down at mt. pt. and every time I see someone with a camo truck I hear the theme song to Deliverance. Really thoughs people are such raging douche bags I wish I could hang them up by their heels and skin them with a rusty spoon. I can haz sane people?" to conversation: "It's going...ok...some people are kind of... difficult...but its...ok."
Yeah, tactful delivery of a message...not so good.
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