Dear Place of Employment:
We reach this point in our abusive relationship every year. We have just had enough of each other. We usually end on rough terms, with both of us completely mentally and physically exhausted and us swearing up and down that we no longer want anything to do with each other. Alas, like all abusive relationships, after some time to cool down, we inevitably crawl back to one another. I to you, for your super sexy paychecks and you big bursting benefits. And you to me, for my snarky fish jokes and advanced knowledge of rockfish life histories.
When we first get back together it is like a match made in Heaven. I sample more fish then Doctor Who has saved lives. And you pretend to be appreciative. But as time wears on I remember what an abusive asshole you are. You are completely unsupportive, like an old bra that the underwire has fallen out of. Remember that one time this summer when, I called you crying and you told me to man up? And you always accuse me of being a liar. Like that one time when you told me a story about that one tech who made up there data, but totally came clean after they were approached about it? It's no good for either of us. Usually when we reach this point we can pull off a clean break, but not this time.
This year, you keep dragging out the inevitable. It's not that I don't appreciate the paycheck, but seriously it's time to let go. I want to see other jobs for a few months. In fact I already have an amazing two month long fling planned, but still you won't let go. You keep finding menial tasks for me to do that lessen both of us. I want to go and move on for a bit (you know I'll be back, I love the abuse. I'm worse then Rihanna). Please stop dragging it out.
I love you job, but let go.
Til Next Year,
An exhausted Fish Tech
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