It's not me it's you

Dear Place of Employment:
We reach this point in our abusive relationship every year. We have just had enough of each other.  We usually end on rough terms, with both of us completely mentally and physically exhausted and us swearing up and down that we no longer want anything to do with each other.  Alas, like all abusive relationships, after some time to cool down, we inevitably crawl back to one another.  I to you, for your super sexy paychecks and you big bursting benefits.  And you to me, for my snarky fish jokes and advanced knowledge of rockfish life histories.
When we first get back together it is like a match made in Heaven. I sample more fish then Doctor Who has saved lives.  And you pretend to be appreciative. But as time wears on I remember what an abusive asshole you are.  You are completely unsupportive, like an old bra that the underwire has fallen out of. Remember that one time this summer when,  I called you crying and you told me to man up? And you always accuse me of being a liar. Like that one time when you told me a story about that one tech who made up there data, but totally came clean after they were approached about it?  It's no good for either of us.  Usually when we reach this point we can pull off a clean break, but not this time.
This year, you keep dragging out the inevitable.  It's not that I don't appreciate the paycheck, but seriously it's time to let go.  I want to see other jobs for a few months.  In fact I already have an amazing two month long fling planned, but still you won't let go.  You keep finding menial tasks for me to do that lessen both of us.  I want to go and move on for a bit (you know I'll be back, I love the abuse.  I'm worse then Rihanna).  Please stop dragging it out.
I love you job, but let go.
Til Next Year,
An exhausted Fish Tech

It's shit like this...

I don't know what is wrong with people.  Maybe its just the time of year?  I really don't get it.  But I will tell ya what I am getting really fucking tired of the following questions:
"Are you married?"  No, do you see a ring?  Or anything that would suggest someone gives two shits about me.  No you don't.  However this leads to the inevitable question:
"Have you ever been married?" First off are you fucking serious?  I still get asked if I'm still in high school!  Sure, I'm kind of a fuck up, but I don't have a "starter marriage" under my belt already.  However the stupid round of questioning doesn't end up there.  Oh no, people have to establish just how miserably lonely I am so:
"Do you have a boyfriend?"  No...I'm kinda pathetic like that.
"Oh, so do you have kids then?"  Of course this is a logical explanation for my 'single' status!?  I mean clearly being 24, not completely haggard looking and not having a significant other must mean I have an amazing amount of baggage, right?  No, you asshole I don't have a kid.  Birth control isn't that complicated ya know and since I have an IQ higher then that of, say a rock, I have managed to avoid any annoying, squalling two legged shit machines.  Thanks.
The response to all of this:
"Smart girl, you'll have more fun if you just do your own thing."
Fuck you!  I would love to have someone to keep my feet warm at night, to laugh with (or at), or just to zone out with.  Instead I think I'm just going to go eat a pint of Ben&Jerry's.