How to Lose Friends' and Alienate People

As many of you know my sex life is going through a dry spell about the size of the Saraha.  Now for various reasons I feel that this is karma, I brought this upon myself.  However, this most recent adventure is cruel and unusual even by the universes standard of fuck you.  First and foremost, it's been well over a year.  And with that, its storytime:
So I went to a party (of course I went to a party, at which point does a bad life choice start out with not-a-party).  The night was awesome fun!  Met new people, hung out with some newer acquaintances, I like to think I made some new friends.  Now at some point or another everyone decided it would be a really good idea to go to the bar, "the bar's need us," was the excuse.  Take note children, the bar never needs you.
Bar number 1 went great.  There is nothing wrong with a bunch of adults playing a game of telephone on a Friday night.  I suppose I should say that at this point in the evening me and my poor life choice have perhaps said "Hi" to each other.
Bar 2 is where things get fuzzy, or completely blank if I'm being honest (Pro tip: Don't combine whiskey, mascato, and rum and cokes).  The last thing I remember is BSing with a friend (an actual friend, I know I'm surprised too). To my questionable recollection I and poor life choice have had yet to have a conversation. And then...
Hello 8am, where the fuck am I?  Did I...Oh...I did.  How the fuck?  I really want to know what crazy pants events led to crazy no pants events.  And I don't even have the foggiest idea.
But seriously universe, its been over a year and when I finally get some, its in such a manner I don't even kind of remember!?  That's just cruel.